Well, here we go. I have decided finally for the first time since I was a teenager to write a journal… and a blog. Big undertaking. I journalled fairly avidly when I was younger and a lot of it went by the wayside as I aged. Clearly it is an old geezer phenomenon. I got busy, and distracted, and lazy. I am still busy and distracted and lazy. The thing that really changed is that I am not so ridiculously busy this term that I lose vast volumes of sleep. I am established in my routines. I am adjusted to marriage and life in NL. I am in fourth year med school, which means little call, decent hours and no regularly scheduled exams for distraction. I like it. A lot. So, I could just flake out and enjoy this time. My CaRMS (residency) applications are submitted. I am basically marking time and finishing up rotations. I am enjoying the extra bits of time I get with Patrick and my friends here. I am finally feeling like I am seriously growing in my faith. Yet, this whole wanting to journal or blog or something of the sort thing has been nagging me. Apparently, I am incapable of relaxing. Or it is something that I was once passionate about and want to get into again. I have heard that people grow through such experiences. Plus, I feel like I should write down some of the important things to look back on. I also think I actually have some things worth saying or sharing.
When looking at starting a blog, I didn’t have a clue what my topic of choice would be. It is suggested that if you want to have a popular blog, you need to pick a voice and an audience and stick with it. I contemplated talking about medicine. Very cliché but popular. I considered making it about marriage in medicine or how my faith impacts my practice. It wasn’t enough. It still didn’t fill all I want to say or write about. What about music and knitting and travels and other random things that don’t fit in the box? I could have asides and focus on those. And in a sense, I suppose this blog will be about the foremost issues in my life, medical education, marriage and faith. That isn’t all and I guess I want to be true to myself and not put things in a box.
There are some things I worry about too with starting something like this. One is privacy. Patrick and I discussed the use of my blog and how I really want to be honest and may talk about some big issues and such, but we also don’t want to divulge every intimate detail of our lives and the lives of our friends and families. I still want to write about those details. Thus, the journal aspect. The plan is that I am going to write everything in a journal kept safely password protected on my beloved laptop. My goal, however lofty, is to include prayer requests, incidents and conversations of interest, plans and dreams and thoughts and reflections. I know that I don’t even want all of that shared on the internet with others. I can be a ridiculously private and shy person and sharing some of those details make me uncomfortable, not to mention the others I may write about. Thus, I plan to keep details of others to a minimum or with permission. Patrick is going to “approve” any posts that involve him or others. Plus, with CaRMS coming up, everyone is locking down to protect their online identities. It is ridiculous, actually… changing Facebook names, hiding pictures. My goal is that my online life is reflective of my personal life and thus should be shameless for others to see. Nonetheless, until to this whole CaRMS thing is over, I am keeping this site on the down-low and limited its ability to be found in a search. Although I would like to think that nothing I say could ever be used to go against me in my application, the worries in the back of my mind make me want to wait to wait on that. Another thing I have been considering in this undertaking is the impact it can have on my life. I want to be dedicated to writing. I want to remember the passion I had when I was younger. I worry that I will fall of the bandwagon early on. I also worry that the writing could encroach on other aspects, such as my schooling or relationships. These are things that I will deal with as they approach.
My hope is that this blog will entertain people with my antics and adventures. I hope to inform people about life in medicine and my attempts at living a “normal” married life. I also want to share about fabulous music, books, knitting patterns and other things that come my way. More importantly I hope to share some of what God has done for me and my family/friends and His wonderful love. Most selfishly, I want to grow and rediscover my passion for writing.