I hate nightmares.
Mainly ones that involve scary things like serial killers and such.
But, ones related to school/work have a different element of fear induction. Because they are often just a touch more realistic.
Last night, I had a Match day nightmare.
In just over three days, I will know where I will be living and working for the next five years. It will be Match day. It is both thrilling and terrifying, but definitely nightmare inducing.
I dreamt that I was still stuck out here on call on Match day. Not sure how I managed to get sucked into 5 days of call (especially when I took leave for Monday and Tuesday), but anyway, I had to drive back to town to get my match results and celebrate with my class. I was running late and somehow forgot to check the computer for my match results. But I didn’t notice until I was in the student lounge with everyone celebrating. Everyone was asking where I matched. And I didn’t know. So, a girl offered me her computer (her giant, old school PC apparently), which was old and slow and kept signing me into her CaRMS account, not mine. So frustrating. And my phone wouldn’t work. And people were starting to say I didn’t match. Then we checked what apparently was the “master list” and I wasn’t on it.
Then my alarm went off.
I haven’t been overly nervous for Match Day (overly being the operative word). But that dream really threw me for a loop.
I do tend to dream about things that are a focus for me and not necessarily a big worry, just a focus. When I have school dreams, they are generally about the material I study, not failing the exam. So a dream about not matching is kind of odd, and yet not so much.
I remember, in Hematology, I dreamt our class was required to give one another chemotherapy as a part of the curriculum. So we could know what it was like. We had to rock paper scissors to see which half would receive treatment on the first day. Weird, I know.
During my Internal Medicine rotations, I once dreamt Patrick was having a heart attack and that I HAD to get him 325mg ASA to chew or he would die (this is something you give, but it being missed would not kill a person).
During Pediatrics, I dreamt I gave birth to premature (wait for it…) puppies via C-section (I have a desperate desire to NEVER have a C-section). And everyone thought they were beautiful and doing well. Except I knew there was something wrong with them… They were, well, puppies. After delivering said puppies, I shared a room with a little girl in DKA (diabetic ketoacidosis) who kept throwing up everywhere. I couldn’t find my puppies and nobody would visit me because of the barfing child.
You get the picture. I have weird dreams about work. And not the kind that are terrifying in an outward sense, but just bizarre. So, the Match day combined the bizarre and what, for me is almost my worst nightmare, though I never actually not matched. I just couldn’t find out where or if I had.
The good thing is that I am on call all weekend. And Patrick is visiting. Thus, I will have plenty to distract me from my Match related angst and thoughts. I just have to refocus and potentially have weird medicine related dreams… Or normal ones. Normal is preferred.
The other good thing is that very soon this part will all be over with and I can start planning for the next chunk of our lives. I trust that God will provide and match us to the place He has prepared for us.
Have you had any ridiculous or scary dreams about work or school? What about bad dream remedies?