Seven Layers of Forget the Match Bars and other distractions

My affirmed goal of the day today was to do anything but worry about the Match.  Thus far, I have been quite successful.  I took personal days for the next three days to save an extra back and forth trip to town, so I am home and left to my own devices.

Step one… I cleaned.  The entire house.  Floors,  surfaces etc.  The office that has been under construction since the fall (see here and here) is finally done being repaired, so it was time to reorganize the heaps of stuff that had collected inside and outside of the room during the construction.  I only required about four shots of ventolin.  And I found a ton of cool and useful stuff… And a lot of junk that could be thrown out.  Sweet.

I stress clean.  The more stressed I am, the more I want cleaned.  And thus, I end up doing it.  The good part is that the house could use a good cleaning.  The bad part is I can be a bit wreckless with the asthma.  I learned to stress clean from my mother, who “cleans when her nerves are bothering her.”  There are many worse things we can do when we are stressed, I suppose.

The cleaning has taken up a good chunk of my day, given I slept in and such.

Patrick and I also needlessly bought books on… Well, we did need to get the Out of the Saltshaker book for our small group (the next study of choice)…. But, the favorite gimmick of Amazon… Free shipping sucked us in.  That and our love of books.  In order to get free shipping, we need to spend $25.  The book was only $12… So, we each got to pick a book to order, as well.  He chose a Clive Cussler book, I chose a Jodi Picoult.  I am pretty sure that the genius who came up with the free shipping concept thought of suckers like us.  Free shipping… Or pay $6 and spend less… But if you get another book and pay nothing for shipping it is a bargain.  They totally make a fortune off of fools like us.

I have now decided to bake and cook.  Two of my favorite things.  I even took a special trip to the grocery store before Patrick went to work.  There, I bought the required ingredients, including parchment paper.  Now, parchment paper and I have a history.  You see, my Mom loves the stuff.  And I do too.  The thing is, when I was in about second year of my undergrad, I was baking Christmas cookies and using parchment paper, as my Mom prefers.  But, halfway through the bake time, the paper started to smoke and burn.  Smoke alarms, me flapping… All that good stuff.  So, I switched the paper and tried again… Same thing.  Turns out, after this happens about three times, my Dad asks what the heck I am doing.  Well, here’s the thing… We were apparently out of parchment paper, so I was using waxed paper.  And nearly burnt the house down for Christmas… Three times.  So, I checked ten times that I legitimately purchased parchment paper.

First up, I made what are called in the recipe in the church cook book “Seven Layer Magic Hello Dolly Bars.”  I have renamed them “Seven Layers of Forget the Match Bars” and revised the recipe to my taste preferences.  I am making pepper-crusted salmon, garlic and butter rice and green beans.  So, I am rather excited!

So, without further ado, the recipe for “Seven Layers of Forget the Match.”   And no nutrition information… Because if you knew, you would develop instant acute coronary syndrome.

  • 1 stick of butter (1/2 cup)
  • 1 ½ cups of oreo cookie crumbs (original recipe calls for graham cracker crumbs)
  • 1 can sweetened condensed milk
  • 1 cup chocolate chips
  • 1 cup peanut butter chips (original recipe calls for butterscotch chips)
  • ¾ cups grated coconut
  • 1 cup almond slivers (original recipe also suggests walnuts or pecans)
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Line a 9×13 pan with parchment paper.
  3. Melt butter and mix with oreo cookie crumbs.  Press crumb mixture into bottom of pan. 
  4. Cover crumb base with condensed milk, then sprinkle the other ingredients over top of the condensed milk.

  5. Bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees.  Cool on a wire rack, then remove parchment paper and cut into squares.

  6. Eat all of your worries away.

I plan to bring some to small group tonight (hooray for another distraction) where we will be wrapping up our Not a Fan study.  Baking is fun, eating is more fun, but eating all of these could render me violently ill…

Do you bake (or eat) to distress?  What kinds of things do you make?



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