There are some foods that are just plain savage to eat.
One of those foods is lobster.
My parents went up North to visit family and brought us home some lobster. Because they love me. And I got the call that they had lobster for us while we were en route there to mooch their washer and dryer. So, we did our laundry at their house and got paid in lobster (and a physics textbook I had delivered there). Quite interesting. I like that set up. It works for us.
So, today, I came home for academic half day and we had lobster for lunch today.
I spread out a paper bag as a placemat, hauled over the paper towel and ripped out a couple paring knives.
I eat lobster like a savage. Even more so than those proper people with their proper lobster eating tools.
Patrick uses the lobster tools… The picks and the crackers. He grew up that way. His parents bought us a set for our first wedding anniversary after they heard a story of us using crappy knives and a hammer when we were first married.
My savage tendencies were also learned… From my French Canadian fisherman family. Newspaper, papertowel and a knife are the sole necessities. I can dismember a lobster quicker with that knife than most can with the crackers. And I am the slow one in my family.
So, I put on a t-shirt I wear to the gym (on that note, I haven’t been to the gym in about a month… oh dear) and got to eating. Yes, I changed clothes to eat. Because that is what one must do when they eat lobster like a savage.
Patrick laughed at me because I suck the juice out and I fish around the innards for eggs and I am happy as a clam whilst eating lobster, while he continues to fight with the knife. He is getting better at the whole thing, but I get it… I have been training to eat lobster in this fashion since it was safe socially acceptable to allow me to use a knife.
Lobster eating is savage for so many reasons… The fact that the food is quintessentially staring at you is a good start. Kind of creepy with his beady little eyes (like in the song “Lester the Lobster” that kids sang in school). You need to impale the pulp out of the sucker to get into it and even then, you still need to gnaw on legs and such to get all the goodness out. You crack shells and break backs and all-in-all, it is a horror movie for the poor little things. And all that is after they were boiled alive.
It still strikes me funny that lobster is such a delicacy and that people eat them one at a time for a small fortune at fancy restaurants. With side dishes.
I rarely eat anything else with lobster. I just want a pot full (which is probably just as expensive as the dinner because I eat way more lobster). At home. Wearing an old t-shirt with juice dripping down my arms (not that I like the fact there is juice down my arms, but it is an acceptable side effect for me).
Honestly, I am a scary thing when I eat lobster. But it is so good. So long as I don’t think too much about how disturbing the whole concept is.