A Letter To My 13 Year Old Self

Dear 13 year old Trisha (or should I say Treesha?),

Hello from your 26 year old self!  A lot changes in 13 years.  I am writing a blog now and one of the Daily Press prompts is to write a letter to your 14 year old self.  Yes, I know, you are 13, not 14, but 13 was always kind of our goal age thanks to books like the Babysitter’s Club that made us think it would totally be the age of freedom (lies!).

So, what’s up?

I know, the 8th grade sucks.  It will indeed go down as our worst year of school ever.  Just remember to be nice to people.  As angry you are and as mean as some people are, don’t take it out on your teachers.  You are going to pass a note that will hurt your teacher’s feelings and you will feel terrible about it for years to come.  Don’t do it.  Just stop passing notes.  It doesn’t end well.

Speaking of notes, in a few years, email will be the primary method of communication when you are away with some of your friends.  Right now it is just something cool you do with LD, but it will actually take off.  And people will use cell phones to text… Instant messages from your phone!  ICQ but a million times better.  Just saying, something to look forward to.

You are in band now!  And although it brings all kinds of ridicule from the other kids it gets cooler as you get older.  Plus you are good at it.  Embrace the music.  Seriously.  You will wind up teaching it in a few years thanks to some training at camp and such.  It really makes you happy and I know you can use some extra happy.

Music wise… Please start expanding your horizons.  I know you won’t listen because you think your music is perfectly good.  But your Britney Spears/Backstreet Boys obsession mixed with your newfound love of more emo tunes from Blink-182 and Our Lady Peace brings out some of your eclectic taste for the future, but really, there is so much out there that is better than some of that stuff.  Or at least not as wrist slitting-eque.

Keep plugging away at the whole cadet thing.  I know you love it now and you will continue to love it.  My  biggest advice is to give up on the whole pilot thing.  You are just doing it to be cool and because you think you have to.  You don’t.  You will wind up being a music instructor and a teacher of all things not flying.  That is enough.  Stop the torture!

Just so you know, V will be your best friend for life.  I know she can sometimes be a bit mean, like the time she painted your forehead with whiteout.  She is trying to be cool.  Just like you.  She stands up for you more often than stuff like that happens.  And you know it.  She will be in your wedding (yes, wedding) and you will be in hers.  In fact, you still want to have kids at the same time and force them to be best friends.

V will continue to collect random people to be friends with.  It is how she rolls.  When you start the 9th grade, she is going to bring another L to the group because she made a promise on the last day of school.  You will think it is stupid.  But, be nice to the new L.  She is a bit anxious and will always be, but she will become your other best friend and also will be in your wedding and vice versa.  Don’t tease her too mercilessly. But, if possible, save her from the purple pants fallacy.  Probably won’t work, but try to stop it!

Stop worrying so much about having a boyfriend.  And stop falling in love with your best friend over and over.  It makes for a fond memory, but all that heartache wasn’t really necessary.  You guys were friends since you can remember.  And that is all you should be.  But, you won’t listen and it will take until you both make a decision in university.  UNIVERSITY!  Just a heads up… That is a lot of wasted time. This isn’t Dawson’s Creek.  You don’t get either of the boys.  Stop being Miss Teen Angst about the whole thing.  Seriously.  It isn’t becoming.

You do get married.  Surprise!  And you don’t know him yet.  In fact, I know you don’t even know if you will ever get married.  But you do.  And he is awesome and everything you wanted and yet everything you think you don’t want.  But that is all you need to know for now.  Just stick with V and L and you will find him (in university at home… Oop… Another surprise).

Yes, you do go to university at home.  Before you go calling me lame, you still have a lot of growing up to do.  I am just saying don’t let other people push you in one direction or another.  It is your education and the name of the school and prestige of a school does not make it better for you.

Don’t worry you do move away eventually.  And you miss home when you go.  Crazy, I know.

I am a doctor now.  I know you won’t believe that.  Be glad we didn’t settle on the whole teaching thing.  There are no jobs now anyway.  Just ask your future husband when you get there. I know it is a long time in school, but it flew by.  And you handle vomiting better than you did back then.  At least if someone is actually sick.

Be nice to Mom and Dad.  They haven’t done anything wrong.  In fact, they have done a whole lot of right.  They support you in more ways then you realize.  Spend more time with your grandparents, even the crazy one.  As it turns out, both of your grandmothers are going to develop Alzheimers over the next few years and life will never be the same.  Learn from them and for heavens sake, get some of their recipes before they forget them.

Keep flying on the straight and narrow, as they say.  I know you think it is lame and that you aren’t cool.  Your inner geek becomes cooler as you get older.  Don’t act more nerdy just to give people a reason to mock you.  It feels better for the time being, but it isn’t worth the charade.  Being smart and musical gets cool later in high school and university.  Just wait out the icky part.  The fact that you are lame now saved you a lot of trouble later in life.  Don’t start going to those parties and such.  And don’t date too much.  I know you won’t, but please don’t feel badly about these decisions.  They work out for the best, promise.

Congratulations on getting to go to camp next summer.  And for getting straight As again (and pretty much for the rest of school).

You are going to be great!  Everything will be more than fine.  The worst bit is almost over and all of the things you go through now are worth it in the end (okay, not all of it, but most of it).

Love,

Your 26 year old self.

PS- Please don’t get that man hair cut.  It will be the butt of jokes, well, forever.  You are beautiful in your own way.  But that hair cut was awful!

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