I recently saw the question somewhere “if you could have any job in the world (and be fully qualified to do said job) right now, what would it be?” It got me thinking.
So, I did what I do when anything gets me thinking. I asked Patrick. He wasn’t entirely sure. Maybe likely actually teaching, but maybe journalism or something.
The thing that blew my mind was that I am actually doing that job (sort of) and am at least on my way to being fully qualified to do that job.
Actually, at this moment, as I sit in the hospital in hour 13 of 24 hour weekend surgery call, I question that a little. But really, even now I am mostly in my element.
If I could do anything in the whole world, I am pretty sure I would still do medicine. Even despite the fact that I love to write and teach and such. I feel like medicine gives me that and more. And yes, I think I would still do rad onc. And I would want to be doing it in combination with doing some palliative care. An ideal split between the two would be awesome, but even just doing some part time coverage of a hospice would be amazing.
Obviously, I would love to be done with the whole residency thing. I mean, it is a great learning on the other side, it seems. The grass on my side is quite alright, though.
Nonetheless, I am working towards my happy place. And realistically so is Patrick (at least he likely is). I am glad we both are. I think it would be just dreadful to be in a place where everything I was doing as not satisfying and nowhere near where I want to be. I meet people who regret their choices and seem very unhappy every day. It must be miserable.
I remember having a high school physics teacher (who was a touch on the crazy side with his handy dandy protractor and such) who told me one day that he became a teacher because he didn’t know what else to do with his physics degree. Had he known about what became my undergrad degree (Nuc Med), he might have done that and enjoyed it more.
I also remember doing clinic with a very old pediatrician who was amazing at his job. He is kind of a guru in his field. We all respect him immensely. At the end of clinic, he asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I told him. He asked all about it and my reasoning. Then, he looked at me and said if he could go back 50 years, he would have done what I am doing. I asked why. He said that he picked something that was great and he would like, but really, he didn’t think he was smart enough (totally wrong) to do the other field, didn’t want to move to train and when he realized he could, it was too late. He enjoyed his career. His life is fulfilled. But there has always been a piece of him that wondered “what if?”
Sometimes, I wonder if I will look back and wonder “what if?” But I don’t think so. At least not to the point where I think I would be unhappy. It is a scary thought in some ways.
The good thing is that your job or where you live is not the key to life. And you can make happiness as much as you can find it. True happiness and satisfaction comes from so many places, namely God.
I may not be in my happy place (work-wise) yet, but I am getting there. And grateful that I am on my way. And that I know where that place is unlike many people in my age bracket. Plus, the way to my true happy place is pretty darn happy most of the time, I must say.
This reminds me of a delightful Proclaimers song that I love to sing…