Musical Call Interlude

I am on call.

It is busy.

And yet here I am writing… Suspicious.

In my defence, there is a lull, but I can’t sleep because I need to check one more piece of blood work pending or I will be rudely awakened before I even settle.

I have selected two songs and lyrics that have been running through my head as appropriate call theme songs.  I will share them with you now while I await late night blood work before hopefully getting a bit of a power nap in.

Song number one… “Some Nights” by Fun.

Some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck
Some nights I call it a draw
Some nights I wish that my lips could build a castle
Some nights I wish they’d just fall off
But I still wake up, I still see your ghost
Oh, Lord, I’m still not sure what I stand for oh
What do I stand for? What do I stand for?
Most nights I don’t know anymore…
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, oh,
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, oh
This is it, boys, this is war – what are we waiting for?
Why don’t we break the rules already?
I was never one to believe the hype
Save that for the black and white
I try twice as hard and I’m half as liked,
But here they come again to jack my style
That’s alright;
I found a martyr in my bed tonight
She stops my bones from wondering just who I am, who I am, who I am
Oh, who am I? Mmm… Mmm…
Well, some nights I wish that this all would end
‘Cause I could use some friends for a change.
And some nights I’m scared you’ll forget me again
Some nights I always win, I always win…
But I still wake up, I still see your ghost
Oh, Lord, I’m still not sure what I stand for, oh
What do I stand for? What do I stand for?
Most nights I don’t know… (oh, come on)
So this is it. I sold my soul for this?
Washed my hands of that for this?
I miss my mom and dad for this?
(Come on)
No. When I see stars, when I see, when I see stars, that’s all they are
When I hear songs, they sound like this one, so come on.
Oh, come on. Oh, come on. Oh, come on!
Well, that is it guys, that is all – five minutes in and I’m bored again
Ten years of this, I’m not sure if anybody understands
This one is not for the folks at home;
Sorry to leave, mom, I had to go
Who the f*** wants to die alone all dried up in the desert sun?
My heart is breaking for my sister and the con that she call “love”
When I look into my nephew’s eyes…
Man, you wouldn’t believe the most amazing things that can come from…
Some terrible nights… ah…
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, oh,
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, oh
The other night you wouldn’t believe the dream I just had about you and me
I called you up but we’d both agree
It’s for the best you didn’t listen
It’s for the best we get our distance… Oh…
It’s for the best you didn’t listen
It’s for the best we get our distance… Oh…

I just love this song for a variety of reasons.  A bit because it is great and catchy (I have referenced it previously in my posts), but it is call appropriate just by title “Some Nights.”  Plus, it talks about staying up cashing in bad luck and then others you always win and such.  If you have ever been on call with me, you would learn that I either have great or terrible call karma.  Plus, the whole concept of people not understanding and the whole thing being a bit of a cause for loss at times.

The second song is Paramore’s “Fences.”

I’m sitting in a room,
Made up of only big white walls and in the hall
There are people looking through
The window in the door
they know exactly what we’re here for.
Don’t look up
Just let them think
There’s no place else
You’d rather be.
You’re always on display
For everyone to watch and learn from,
Don’t you know by now,
You can’t turn back
Because this road is all you’ll ever have.
And it’s obvious that you’re dying, dying.
Just living proof that the camera’s lying.
And oh oh open wide, ’cause this is your night.
So smile, ’cause you’ll go out in style.
You’ll go out in style.
If you let me I could,
I’d show you how to build your fences,
Set restrictions, separate from the world.
The constant battle that you hate to fight,
Just blame the limelight.
Don’t look up
Just let them think
There’s no place else
You’d rather be.
And now you can’t turn back
Because this road is all you’ll ever have.
And it’s obvious that you’re dying, dying.
Just living proof that the camera’s lying.
And oh oh open wide, ’cause this is your night.
So smile.
Yeah, yeah you’re asking for it
With every breath that you breathe in
Just breathe it in.
Yeah, yeah well you’re just a mess
You do all this big talking
So now let’s see you walk it.
I said let’s see you walk it.
Yeah, yeah well you’re just a mess
You do all this big talking
So now let’s see you walk it.
I said let’s see you walk it.
And it’s obvious that you’re dying, dying.
Just living proof that the camera’s lying.
And oh oh open wide, yeah oh oh open wide.
Yeah, oh oh open wide,
‘Cause you’ll go out in style.
You’ll go out in style.

I think of this one almost every time I am on call.  Clearly that makes me emo or something.  But, beyond that, it fits.  Sometimes, you just have to let people think you would not rather be anywhere but where you are, and you feel on display.  Even if you aren’t really anything but a mess like everyone else.  And I feel as if I am at the point where I can’t go back… This is what I will do for my life.  I am happy with it, but nonetheless the line resonates with me.  Then there is the whole dying thing… Sometimes that is more me in my head to people.  Plus, the whole big white rooms and endless halls… Seems pretty hospital like for me.

And thus concludes my musical call interlude.

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