“Hello, my name is Trisha. I am the junior resident. No, this is not my home service. Please, let me now stick a needle in your abdomen. Of course I know what I’m doing.”
Such is life off-service.
I am now back in the world of livers again, which means I am back to doing paracentesis (aka draining extra fluid off of people’s bellies). It is an immediately satisfying procedure in that you see instant results. It is dismaying because people often reaccumulate the fluid quickly and you have to do it again in a few days to months.
I am not a procedure person. I never have been.
Don’t get me wrong, I do them. And I am decent at them (although also a bit slow and shaky). But, I don’t derive the same sort of joy other people do in performing procedures.
Most of the people I went to med school with liked their given field for the procedures. You get to do blah to people. And they get a big kick out of that.
I remember med school procedure days. I thought they were neat. I love the feeling of fresh casting material and it was fun to be better at taking blood and doing IVs than average (thank you undergrad), but I was never as pumped as some of my peers. They could practice hand ties and sew pig guts until the cows came home.
Maybe part of it was that I have always struggled with fine motor skills. And I hate not being the best at something (and I will never be the best at most surgical-type interventions).
Another part of my procedure issue is that I just plain find it bizarre how we learn in medicine by practicing on real people. Its not like we can learn on fake people. And we do sometimes get to do stuff with dummies or each other first. Some things just need to be done on real sick people. But, nothing is more awkward than telling someone, “yes, you are indeed the first person I have done this to.” I don’t know many other professions where you actually torment live people (under adequate supervision) for the sake of both learning and their theoretical betterment.
I am a person who learns by reading and understanding, so the whole “see one, do one, teach one,” thing is irritating when I have yet to read about one. I generally like all procedures better once I have a few under my belt. Because then I don’t feel like a bumbling fool (or at least less of one). Competence is a requirement for me to like something, me thinks.
When I was in Nuc Med, I loved injecting radionuclides. I loved taking blood. But, it was that along with the other stuff. The other stuff made the bits of hand-eye coordination cool. I worked in Specimen Collection for a summer and it was quite possibly the worst job ever. In fact, I use it to this day as a standard to compare all other terrible jobs… Gen surg is the only thing that came close. I liked taking blood. I did not like doing it 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.
My Nuc Med buddies teased me because I have a ridiculous tremor when I do take blood and such. It scares people at first, but I really am quite competent (and the tremor diminished with increased practice and caffeine tolerance). They made me promise when I got into med school to not do surgery ever. Because my tremor would terrorize everyone. Have no fear folks, that isn’t the only reason I won’t do surgery.
I picked my field for the variety. And because once I am out, I have the option to not do a whole heaping lot of time-intensive technical procedures.
I like giving immunizations. I am cool with the odd blood draw (just not an 8 hour day consisting of 100+ draws). I will do your pap or use a scope to peer at your larynx or sew something up once in a blue moon.
I, however, can’t do that all day. Or every day. I love my sit-down chats with people. I love clinical medicine and tolerate procedural medicine. I enjoy paperwork and computer work, but most of all people work.
As cool as it is to impale people with large needles and suck fluid out to make them feel better, I like making differences in other ways (like prescribing drugs or radiation or talking).
It is a personal preference. I know it is an important part of medicine. And some aspects of Rad Onc are super procedural as well. It is all about what you make of your practice (and what sites you focus on and how much time you spend on certain sites).
Will I do procedural stuff?
Heck yes. Everyone does. And some of the sites I think are cool may require me to do procedures. And I am fine with that, if I like the procedures and I get the variety that comes with the career I chose.
I will also enjoy the procedural stuff more when it is better within my comfort zone and training niche. Knowing what one is doing and its relevance to the care of your own patients is huge in enjoying it. At least it is for me.
It is good to know what you like or not like. But, sometimes I wish I could get the same kicks out of sewing or impailing that other do. Instead, I grin and bear it and take joy in the fact that it helps that person and that once I grow up, I will be able to somewhat tailor my practice (or defer to the off-service junior resident… Muahahahaha…. Okay, not so much).