Marriage… Cornerstone or capstone?

I have written before about marriage and about how I got married young, at least to some people and how some people questioned our decision and its sustainability given our age and situation.  Most people still presume we are newlyweds when they meet one of us and we have friends that are still thought to be dating until the rings are noticed, just because of their ages (and that is what is normal this day and age).

I saw this article posted by a friend who was married a year younger than me and I just felt like I should share it with other people:  The Case for Getting Married Young by Karen Swallow Prior.

 Culturally, young adults have increasingly come to see marriage as a “capstone” rather than a “cornerstone”—that is, something they do after they have all their other ducks in a row, rather than a foundation for launching into adulthood and parenthood.

Like the author states in the article, there is much pressure these days to get an education, focus on getting a career and then getting married.  That we have to have all of our eggs in a basket before we should be entering a legal union with another person.  But as we all go to school longer, take longer to get established and go into more debt because of all that garbage, it takes longer to attain the status that society thinks we need to have before getting married.

Plus, the article is frank about some of the benefits of being married and the downsides to young singleness.

I am not saying everyone should get married “young.”  But, maybe people should consider that our must-have culture leads us to sometimes lose out on things because we HAVE to do so much before getting married.  Sometimes having another person to support and have support you is a good thing.  Marriage can provide a security that you don’t necessarily get with co-habitation and it allows for growth together as opposed to apart.

I like what the article said.  I am glad my marriage was a cornerstone, not a capstone of my adult life.  I think it has done a lot to shape who I am, who we are.

Image from sysministriesinc.wordpress.com.

 

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Marriage… Cornerstone or capstone?

  1. I think you were unusually mature for your ages. Most people don’t know what they need in another partner. Everyone matures differently. And I found out myself that I really didn’t know what was important to me until much later. God blessed you that you found a soulmate at a young age.

    • You’re right, everyone does mature differently. I just feel like there is a lot of pressure societally to mature but to not make certain decisions like marriage until much later in life, even if one thinks they are ready. Many people don’t know what they need, but I wish there wasn’t so much pressure to wait around on everyone else.

  2. I’m really excited to find your blog; I love that you blog about medicine, faith, and marriage! I had to comment on this post because I got married last August (at the beginning of Block III) and I 100% agree with your post. My favorite thing that you said is: “Sometimes having another person to support and have support you is a good thing. Marriage can provide a security that you don’t necessarily get with co-habitation and it allows for growth together as opposed to apart.” Yes.

    • I am glad you stopped by! I quite liked your blog as well (I always get excited when I meet other wives who also happen to be medical).
      Marriage has helped me to get through medicine alive. Glad you agree with that point. 🙂

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