White Carpet

I didn’t post yesterday because I was in the midst of a post-exam/life got busy cleaning fit.

Such is the pattern of my life.

I maintain a clean house.  Then, things happen and I get less productive.  Then, I have an exam and I do even less.

Then, once it is over, I loose my mind at the mess that is my house (Patrick will tell me that it isn’t that bad… I don’t know what he can’t see).  I freak out for a bit and then I hammer out cleaning the whole thing.

That was my last night.

While cleaning I thought of a whole rant that I have been wanting to share.

I will refrain from sharing the whole thing or we will actually be here all night.

What fool invented white (off-white) carpet!?!?!?

Really, why carpet in the first place?  It feels a bit nicer/warmer, but really it is an added hassle.

But, white carpet is something that is just asking for trouble.

It doesn’t stay white.  It doesn’t even stay off-white the way I would like.

I know, you need to be careful around it.  Not eat over it or track your shoes in.

Clearly, you people do not have a husband or a cat or a life.

I have found keeping white carpet clean a near impossibility.  Maybe, if we lived in bubbles or had a carpet cleaner machine-thing we would be okay.  Or if we always wore socks and never spilled things and rarely had people visit.

Having a cat of an identical shade to the carpet, so that the giant tumbleweeds of cat hair that form just hours after vacuuming wouldn’t show up so nastily.  Also, said cat would need to keep all his food in his dish, all his litter in his box and not knock things over or throw up.

Not happening.

I do know of another way to keep white carpet clean… Not put it in every living space of the house minus the kitchen and bathroom!

Our dining room has carpet.  I spill things bringing stuff there.  I drop things in there.  It is just a bad idea.  The bedrooms and hall are one thing, but the dining room really baffles me

The living room is the worst room for me, though.  Even though it is a reasonable room theoretically to carpet, we (don’t judge) eat there a lot, we snack there.  We run in with our shoes to grab things and it is the room that is between both the kitchen and the living room or the door, so all kinds of stuff happens to trail in there.

Don’t get me wrong here people.  It isn’t like we are living in our own filth.  But, I am kind of anal retentive, so the spots from anything hitting the floor make me a little crazy.  And I live with a non-observant boy and a cat who is too curious for his own good.

I go through a bottle of carpet spot cleaner every couple months.

When we were in high school, we had a friend who had a white carpet basement and very particular parents.  They would let us all come over and hang out in her basement.  We would eat food and she would run around with the carpet cleaner stuff to get rid of any potential spots.

I feel like I am channeling that friend sometimes, although I try not to attack people mid drink when a drop falls from their glass.

I try.

My wide-reaching solution to all this would be to get rid of all carpet.  It just harbours allergens and mould anyway.

Jeter is trying to help me in this mission by repeatedly scratching at the same spot under our door to wake us up in the morning.  He hates the carpet too and is slowly trying to destroy it.  Obviously this is the only explaination.

I came to realize the other day when new neighbours moved in that not all apartments in our building have carpet.  Well, that is disappointing.  I wish we got one that had no carpet and new cupboards.  Clearly, other than having one of the bigger ones with a sweet deck, we got a bum deal.

I half want to volunteer to take the carpet out on their behalf.

But no.

Even having colored carpet would be a step up.

Hide the nastiness.  Then, you just get a gross surprise when you finally decide to tear the carpet up (like my parents who recently pulled up the carpet that covered the living room floor for the entire time they lived in the house and discovered all kinds of grossness).  Darker carpet doesn’t show stains as avidly.  Unfortunately, Jeter is a shade of grey that I suspect will show up on almost any carpet.

I know, it ruins the neutral flair of an apartment having colored carpet.

I say screw the neutrality.

I crawl around on the floor with a spray bottle and a damp cloth.  I sure as heck would deal with a change in color palatte.

At least we only have carpet until we move again.

Given our current pattern, we basically have another year or two left of carpet.  I am totally demanding less carpet in our next home.  Or getting shares in the sprayable carpet cleaning stuff.   I am that kind of needy.

5 thoughts on “White Carpet

  1. I’m with you on this…. white carpet shouldn’t even exist!! My mother-in-law (who unlike me is an IMMACULATE housekeeper) redid her living room and dining room back in the 80s and got white carpet (and gold wallpaper to go with that white carpet??). I thought to myself that this is going to be very interesting, but I knew if anyone could keep it clean, it would be her. My in-laws have no pets in the house (but had three male grandchildren)! My mother-in-law is the spitting image of Marie on Everybody Loves Raymond and acts like her too. For the years she had the white carpet, she had pink sheets laid down all over it. You had to remove your shoes at the door when you entered. I never saw the living room without the pink sheets and I kept asking myself what the point of getting the white carpet was? I just didn’t get it! She finally had it all torn up and had the beautiful hardwood floors underneath refinished. No more pink sheets! LOL!

    • It baffles my mind when people cover up hardwood floors with carpet. But, that was the trend years ago, so I guess that is what people thought was cool. Somehow, it seems less likely to me that people will some day want to cover it up again.
      I love the sheets. That is hilarious. But, I guess that is part of how she kept it so clean, even if it did seem pointless.

  2. We had our house built and there is carpeting only in the guest bedrooms (and I wish I wouldn’t have done it there!). The dining room has an oriental area rug with 28 different colors. It’s perfect for hiding wine spills and hairballs. Back in the late 1960s or so, my brother had carpeting in his kitchen. What a nightmare that was!

    • Ugh- carpet in the kitchen. When we were looking for an apartment after we got married, one place I called had wall-to-wall carpet. Literally. Even in the bathroom. It makes me shudder.
      I like your oriental rug idea. That sounds effective!

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