I am a renowned plant killer.
This someecards card could have my face on it. Or at least it would have up until recently.
I learned this skill from my mother who also could not keep an indoor plant alive (outdoor plants were a struggle too).
This despite my grandfather and I having a garden in our backyard where we grew vegetables (okay, mostly onions and string beans because they could grow despite the crummy soil). And despite my Mom’s Mom being able to grow anything. She would come over to fix my mother’s gardens (true story), although now Alzheimer’s has caused her to also start killing all her plants too.
When I was working at the Hospice, one of the staff always cared for the plants. She went on vacation and told two of us to water them in ho[es that one of us would do it. We both did. Whoops.
When I was in Nuc Med, we had a class Christmas cactus. It died. Cactuses die too. In my defense, I wasn’t alone in causing this death either.
So, by the time I got married, I declared my home a plant free zone.
Although, I did always want an aloe plant. I love aloe plants.
Patrick bought me this cute little flower plant my last year in med school. I somehow, despite many close calls did not kill the sucker.
We had to leave it there because we didn’t think it would survive the drive and boat ride in our very, very packed car.
So, after a year of no plants, Patrick bought me a rose plant. Because it can’t kill the cat if he chooses to chew on it (which he would). And because we can’t have aloe plants because they can kill the cat (sad face).
I told him that between the cat and I, it would die. Surely, it would.
But, here we are, a good 8 or so months later and the plant is still alive. In fact, it has grown. It hasn’t bloomed, but it has grown.
This brings me up to two plants.
So, yesterday, we were at Canadian Tire in the pouring rain waiting for them to fix our tire with an air leak. Turns out, there was a drill bit in it. Anyway, it is far to rainy to walk to get coffee, so we were left wandering Canadian Tire and hoping we didn’t need to buy a new tire when I remember I wanted to get a plant for the rose bush thing because iti s still in the cheap plastic pot with pink foil around it.
So, I buy a pot. And some new soil.
And then we see the seeds and I comment that I always wanted to grow herbs.
So, what did we do?
We didn’t buy herbs.
We bought cat grass.
Yes, a plant of the cat’s freaking own.
So, this afternoon, I channeled everything I ever remember my grandmother telling me and I repotted my rose plant. And I planted the cat grass. And I remembered to give the orchid its weekly water.
I haven’t killed the plants. And I haven’t killed the cat.
I am making progress.
And our house is becoming green.
When the weather gets better, we are seriously considering maybe growing some chives or coriander and maybe even some small vegetables or somethings delicious like that.
Maybe soon I’ll be a reformed plant killer. It is still far too soon to tell.